We have something yet again.
Calliope just finished a course of oral steroids and is still on nebulizer treatments and inhaled steroids for awhile.
Tabitha woke up a few days ago with a cough. They just finished antibiotics for strep.
I'm back on the nebulizer for awhile, too.
I'm trying really hard not to complain, but I will be so flippin glad when this is over!! It's quite tempting to just keep the kids out of school until January at this point. They've missed all week this week, Calliope missed all of last week and part of the previous week. And at this point, there are only 7 days of school left until next year. I can't help but wonder, if it would be worth just calling them off for the rest of the year. They can't seem to go to school without coming home sick.
On a good note, I'm not as bad as I was when I got sick with the Swine Flu at the beginning of October, although I do wonder, if this could possibly be the Swine Flu Revisited, considering how sick Calliope is. I'm ready for all of us to be well!
Off to get busy. I've got to try to get *something* done before the morning is over!
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
Friday, November 20, 2009
Do you ever wonder who would come to your funeral?
I'm not being fatalistic. I'm not suicidal. I'm just wondering. Sometimes I wonder who would come to my funeral.
When I was growing up, I remember my dad remarking that if a certain person didn't have the decency to contact him when he was alive, then they sures the hell weren't invited to his funeral. I feel like that sometimes. When I do, I wonder, if I really should have quit taking my antidepressant! LOL
When Daddy died 2 and a half years ago, there was standing room only at his funeral. There had to have been at least 300 to 400 people there. Easily. Not only did the overflow go into the 'cry room' but it extended out the door of the funeral home several people thick and long. They listened to his service from outside.
A lot of people thought a lot of my dad. He was well loved, and he loved well. No doubt about it!
With the health questions surrounding me right now, I find my mind drifting that way. Would people show up to my funeral who hadn't talked to me in years? If they were to show up, I wonder what their reasoning would be for not having spoken to me for the last several years I was alive.
Honestly, I don't think many would come to my funeral. I certainly have touched nowhere near the number of people my dad touched. I think most of my family would. Or they'd at least try to make it. Even then, though, I wonder, if it would be out of obligation that they came. I think of one sibling in particular. I have no idea what I've done or haven't done, but he hasn't returned my calls even once in over 2 years. And you know...I just can't think that my timing sucks so bad that he was too busy to talk each and every time I called. I'm sure he loves me. I know I love him. I'd go to his funeral. You know? So I wonder: would he'd come to mine?
There have been some people I used to know who contacted me on facebook. I accepted their friend invite, and then we were 'friends' again. LOL I realized that not one single time in our online 'friendship' had we even spoken once. These weren't people I knew only from online. I used to see them on a regular basis. I'm a bit curious why they requested to be my friend online when they've had absolutely nothing to do with me in real life for at least 8 years. Sort of bizarre, if you ask me.
I removed them from my friends list, and I'm sure I'll never hear from them again. It's no big deal to me, if I do. Still, it makes me wonder, if they would come to my funeral. Again...not in any morbid sense, but really...would they come? And again, I think of my dad and what he used to say. If I mean so much as for them to come to my funeral, then why was I not important enough for them to have a relationship with me in real life?
So that made my mind wander yet again. Would *I* go to *their* funerals, if they died. And I think I probably wouldn't. I may send a card of condolence, but I don't think I'd actually attend the funeral. I think attending a funeral is a way to say that the person touched you somehow (typically positive) in your life, and you have a certain fondness for them in your heart.
Quite honestly, I don't think there are many who have that fondness for me in their hearts. There are a few. People who I've been friends with for years. People whose friendship hasn't wavered, and we pick up right where we left off, no matter how long it's been since we've seen one another. They're the people I'd like to see at my funeral. I guess to know that I touched them in the same way that they touched my life.
I'm glad I'll be dead at my funeral. Seriously. I won't have any awkward moments of silence while trying to find something to say to someone I haven't seen in years. I won't have to feel bad, if someone whose life I thought I'd touched wasn't there, because I hadn't really meant anything to them. And I won't have to wonder why in Hell's bells someone was there that I knew I meant nothing to.
I'm definitely glad I won't really be there!
When I was growing up, I remember my dad remarking that if a certain person didn't have the decency to contact him when he was alive, then they sures the hell weren't invited to his funeral. I feel like that sometimes. When I do, I wonder, if I really should have quit taking my antidepressant! LOL
When Daddy died 2 and a half years ago, there was standing room only at his funeral. There had to have been at least 300 to 400 people there. Easily. Not only did the overflow go into the 'cry room' but it extended out the door of the funeral home several people thick and long. They listened to his service from outside.
A lot of people thought a lot of my dad. He was well loved, and he loved well. No doubt about it!
With the health questions surrounding me right now, I find my mind drifting that way. Would people show up to my funeral who hadn't talked to me in years? If they were to show up, I wonder what their reasoning would be for not having spoken to me for the last several years I was alive.
Honestly, I don't think many would come to my funeral. I certainly have touched nowhere near the number of people my dad touched. I think most of my family would. Or they'd at least try to make it. Even then, though, I wonder, if it would be out of obligation that they came. I think of one sibling in particular. I have no idea what I've done or haven't done, but he hasn't returned my calls even once in over 2 years. And you know...I just can't think that my timing sucks so bad that he was too busy to talk each and every time I called. I'm sure he loves me. I know I love him. I'd go to his funeral. You know? So I wonder: would he'd come to mine?
There have been some people I used to know who contacted me on facebook. I accepted their friend invite, and then we were 'friends' again. LOL I realized that not one single time in our online 'friendship' had we even spoken once. These weren't people I knew only from online. I used to see them on a regular basis. I'm a bit curious why they requested to be my friend online when they've had absolutely nothing to do with me in real life for at least 8 years. Sort of bizarre, if you ask me.
I removed them from my friends list, and I'm sure I'll never hear from them again. It's no big deal to me, if I do. Still, it makes me wonder, if they would come to my funeral. Again...not in any morbid sense, but really...would they come? And again, I think of my dad and what he used to say. If I mean so much as for them to come to my funeral, then why was I not important enough for them to have a relationship with me in real life?
So that made my mind wander yet again. Would *I* go to *their* funerals, if they died. And I think I probably wouldn't. I may send a card of condolence, but I don't think I'd actually attend the funeral. I think attending a funeral is a way to say that the person touched you somehow (typically positive) in your life, and you have a certain fondness for them in your heart.
Quite honestly, I don't think there are many who have that fondness for me in their hearts. There are a few. People who I've been friends with for years. People whose friendship hasn't wavered, and we pick up right where we left off, no matter how long it's been since we've seen one another. They're the people I'd like to see at my funeral. I guess to know that I touched them in the same way that they touched my life.
I'm glad I'll be dead at my funeral. Seriously. I won't have any awkward moments of silence while trying to find something to say to someone I haven't seen in years. I won't have to feel bad, if someone whose life I thought I'd touched wasn't there, because I hadn't really meant anything to them. And I won't have to wonder why in Hell's bells someone was there that I knew I meant nothing to.
I'm definitely glad I won't really be there!
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Last week ended on a note.
Just a note. Not a high note. Perhaps bit of a low note. I won't really know for awhile. I guess it depends on how serious it ends up being.
I had what appeared to be a gallbladder attack that lasted for not quite a week. I no longer have my gallbladder, though. Had it removed several years ago. Since it had already been removed, I was tested for h. pylori, the bacteria that causes something like 80% of ulcers. It was negative.
However, after an exam and palpitation of my gut, the doctor ordered an ultrasound and blood tests. Thankfully, I got the results the same day on the ultrasound, so I didn't have to wait for results over the weekend. I have an enlarged liver and spleen. And while the majority of the pain did resolve, I still have a dull ache most of the time.
It appears as though it may actually have been a gallbladder attack, and that my body produced a stone, in spite of the absence of the gallbladder. It happens. I think it happened about 18 months ago, too. Similar situation. Pain between my belly button and breast bone that lasted several days and was just gone one day when I woke up.
I had a great day Sunday with little pain. I was able to actually accomplish something for the first time in 6 weeks. I overdid it, though, and I was definitely hurting yesterday. Especially in the spleen area.
Considering that I was quite ill for several weeks from the Swine Flu and secondary infections from it, I think it's quite possible that the spleen enlargement is a direct result of the swine flu. I think the liver could also be enlarged from the H1N1, but also from the gallstone I likely passed.
I will go back in next week, if I'm not substantially better over the weekend. Considering I feel better every day, I am hoping I won't need to go in again for more testing.
I guess I won't know what note this all ends on until the fat lady sings!
I had what appeared to be a gallbladder attack that lasted for not quite a week. I no longer have my gallbladder, though. Had it removed several years ago. Since it had already been removed, I was tested for h. pylori, the bacteria that causes something like 80% of ulcers. It was negative.
However, after an exam and palpitation of my gut, the doctor ordered an ultrasound and blood tests. Thankfully, I got the results the same day on the ultrasound, so I didn't have to wait for results over the weekend. I have an enlarged liver and spleen. And while the majority of the pain did resolve, I still have a dull ache most of the time.
It appears as though it may actually have been a gallbladder attack, and that my body produced a stone, in spite of the absence of the gallbladder. It happens. I think it happened about 18 months ago, too. Similar situation. Pain between my belly button and breast bone that lasted several days and was just gone one day when I woke up.
I had a great day Sunday with little pain. I was able to actually accomplish something for the first time in 6 weeks. I overdid it, though, and I was definitely hurting yesterday. Especially in the spleen area.
Considering that I was quite ill for several weeks from the Swine Flu and secondary infections from it, I think it's quite possible that the spleen enlargement is a direct result of the swine flu. I think the liver could also be enlarged from the H1N1, but also from the gallstone I likely passed.
I will go back in next week, if I'm not substantially better over the weekend. Considering I feel better every day, I am hoping I won't need to go in again for more testing.
I guess I won't know what note this all ends on until the fat lady sings!
Monday, November 2, 2009
Ok. I admit it made me laugh...
We homeschooled our oldest daughter for several years. She had a tendency towards being headstrong. She still does, and I don't think anything is ever going to take that away. There are some definite pluses to it. She isn't taken advantage of as easily as some young women are. She can stand up for herself. She doesn't back down in an argument when she knows she's right.
At the same time, some of these things can also cause a problem or two. Especially for the parent, when those around have NO idea your sweet little angel is as contrary as possible to you, her mom.
So when I saw Desperate Housewives last night (it's one of my few vices), I laughed out loud. I couldn't help it. I'd lived it, and they portrayed it in a very funny manner. This clip shows the entire homeschool portion of the show in spite of the fact that it wasn't shown sequentially in the show.
And I know it doesn't portray homeschooling in the best light, and it bothers me when shows do that. However, this one actually made me laugh. Probably because I can identify with moments we had like this that were never quite to this degree.
What can I say? It brightened my day a little. :O)
At the same time, some of these things can also cause a problem or two. Especially for the parent, when those around have NO idea your sweet little angel is as contrary as possible to you, her mom.
So when I saw Desperate Housewives last night (it's one of my few vices), I laughed out loud. I couldn't help it. I'd lived it, and they portrayed it in a very funny manner. This clip shows the entire homeschool portion of the show in spite of the fact that it wasn't shown sequentially in the show.
And I know it doesn't portray homeschooling in the best light, and it bothers me when shows do that. However, this one actually made me laugh. Probably because I can identify with moments we had like this that were never quite to this degree.
What can I say? It brightened my day a little. :O)
Thursday, October 29, 2009
I'm ready for next week to be over.
So today, I have a sinus headache. I can deal with it. Just drinking tons of water, and I'll do my sinus rinses, and I'll be fine. But the tension headache that I've had for the last 4 days won't let up until next week, I'm sure.
Next week marks the 2 year anniversary of my nephew's suicide. I find it really hard to think about, so I stuff it, and it results in a tension headache. When I do think about it, I go to a place that's really dark and scary, and I don't like it there. I think of what his life could have been like. I think of how he died. I think of how incredibly much he's missed. And I think of what his poor family has gone through. There are days it's almost unbearable, and I was 'just his aunt'.
God, I miss him! The thing is, he would have NEVER, EVER done it, if he'd have known how much it hurt so incredibly many people. He didn't have a mean bone in his body. He was drunk, and he wanted to get away from the pain.
I wish I could have helped him.
Next week marks the 2 year anniversary of my nephew's suicide. I find it really hard to think about, so I stuff it, and it results in a tension headache. When I do think about it, I go to a place that's really dark and scary, and I don't like it there. I think of what his life could have been like. I think of how he died. I think of how incredibly much he's missed. And I think of what his poor family has gone through. There are days it's almost unbearable, and I was 'just his aunt'.
God, I miss him! The thing is, he would have NEVER, EVER done it, if he'd have known how much it hurt so incredibly many people. He didn't have a mean bone in his body. He was drunk, and he wanted to get away from the pain.
I wish I could have helped him.
Friday, October 23, 2009
Can I go to bed yet?
I'm tired. I felt the best today that I have in three weeks, but I'm so tired! I even got a decent amount of sleep last night, so I can only assume it's just that I feel a bit punky from getting my seasonal flu shot. Still...it will be good to sleep in tomorrow!
Got some medicine for thrush. All the steroids and the antibiotic have my mouth ablaze. Can't imagine what it would be like, if I hadn't been rinsing my mouth out several times a day with Scope. I just wish I'd remembered to start taking the probiotics before I did! Oh well. Just wasn't thinking clearly. I'm sure the meds will kick in soon, and my mouth will no longer be sore. I can handle it until then.
Looking forward to the weekend. I actually feel well enough I think I can accomplish more than just a load of dishes or a load or two of laundry. And we REALLY need for me to be able to accomplish something! My house is beyond pathetic right now!
Oh!! I almost forgot!! Fun stuff!! . . . .
I taught myself to blow smoke rings when I was taking my nebulizer treatments! LOL You have NO idea how happy I am about this! (I'm easily amused!! LOL) I used to sit on my dad's lap and watch him blow smoke rings when I was a kid. I also used to watch him wiggle his ears. I figured out how to wiggle my ears in high school, but because I didn't smoke the smoke rings were a distant thought. He'd be so tickled that I figured out how to do it without lighting up a cigarette!
I wouldn't doubt that I dream of Daddy and me blowing smoke rings tonight. =)
Yep...I could go to bed right now...
Got some medicine for thrush. All the steroids and the antibiotic have my mouth ablaze. Can't imagine what it would be like, if I hadn't been rinsing my mouth out several times a day with Scope. I just wish I'd remembered to start taking the probiotics before I did! Oh well. Just wasn't thinking clearly. I'm sure the meds will kick in soon, and my mouth will no longer be sore. I can handle it until then.
Looking forward to the weekend. I actually feel well enough I think I can accomplish more than just a load of dishes or a load or two of laundry. And we REALLY need for me to be able to accomplish something! My house is beyond pathetic right now!
Oh!! I almost forgot!! Fun stuff!! . . . .
I taught myself to blow smoke rings when I was taking my nebulizer treatments! LOL You have NO idea how happy I am about this! (I'm easily amused!! LOL) I used to sit on my dad's lap and watch him blow smoke rings when I was a kid. I also used to watch him wiggle his ears. I figured out how to wiggle my ears in high school, but because I didn't smoke the smoke rings were a distant thought. He'd be so tickled that I figured out how to do it without lighting up a cigarette!
I wouldn't doubt that I dream of Daddy and me blowing smoke rings tonight. =)
Yep...I could go to bed right now...
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Thank you sir! May I have another?
Four?
I can have four more?
Thank you ever so much, good fellow!
Four more days of steroids. I have to say that I'm really ready to be off them. At the same time, if I come off them too early or too quickly, it can make my breathing worse.
At least I've been able to get by with just my inhaler today. It's the first day in almost 3 weeks I haven't had to have the nebulizer just to breathe. I'll probably still take another breathing treatment before bed, but at least I have a bit less medicine coursing through my veins!
Going back in for more allergy testing and to talk with my asthma specialist in a few weeks to see, if we can't figure out what's going on, or if it's just that the Swine Flu assaulted my lungs this much. It's totally sent them into a tailspin!
I'll also be seeing a gynecologist to see, if any of it could be related to hormones. Hopefully, I'll have answers in a month that I don't have now!
In the meantime, I'll just serve myself another...
I can have four more?
Thank you ever so much, good fellow!
Four more days of steroids. I have to say that I'm really ready to be off them. At the same time, if I come off them too early or too quickly, it can make my breathing worse.
At least I've been able to get by with just my inhaler today. It's the first day in almost 3 weeks I haven't had to have the nebulizer just to breathe. I'll probably still take another breathing treatment before bed, but at least I have a bit less medicine coursing through my veins!
Going back in for more allergy testing and to talk with my asthma specialist in a few weeks to see, if we can't figure out what's going on, or if it's just that the Swine Flu assaulted my lungs this much. It's totally sent them into a tailspin!
I'll also be seeing a gynecologist to see, if any of it could be related to hormones. Hopefully, I'll have answers in a month that I don't have now!
In the meantime, I'll just serve myself another...
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